BANGS

Why? What is the point of bangs? They used to be handy in covering enormous zits, and also helpful in increasing height . . . but really, unless they are gently wisped to the side in a professional cut, I find that full on bangs are nothing but disaster. I’m sure the words I write will not convince anyone of my point, so I’ve put together a series of photos which no one, NO ONE, can dispute. I think we can all safely blame our mothers, bless their ever-loving hearts, for the initiation of this bang issue, but who is to blame when we do it to ourselves and our own children today?

I’ve heard many comments on how Stella’s hair is always in her face and she can’t see and asking when I’ll give her a hair cut. Well, if you could all just try to remember about 20 years ago when nearly every female, and several males, had bangs. You know you had them . . . and you know now how dreadful they were! Why would you ask me to do this to my own adorable child? Do you want her to have the same bitter feelings I’ve had against my own mother for ruining my hair all those years? (Don’t worry Mom, I’ve nearly forgiven you). Stella doesn’t like to have cute barrettes or bows in her hair and pulls them out nearly as fast as I put them in. One of these days, if we are all very patient, her hair will grow in nice and thick and she’ll be able to put it behind her ears, or she might even allow me to put a barrette in it. I think we all just need to have some patience, more patience than our parents had 20 years ago when they started cutting bangs for us. Some of these bangs turned into sideburn bangs, which drastically, I also have photos of (I won’t post them Teener).

After reviewing these photos and re-evaluating your life and how your bad bangs had an influence on the person you are today, please call me. I’m here with a listening ear, which thankfully, was never covered in sideburn bangs.



Yes, I have a fat lip, but I'm sure Miles has head-gear hair.





DISCLAIMER: If you find it necessary to cut your child’s bangs, I guess I can find a little understanding in my heart. Just be careful my friend . . . be very careful!

WARNING: Anyone attempting to cut or pressuring anyone into cutting Stella’s hair will be on probation. Anyone succeeding in cutting Stella’s hair willingly relinquishes contact with Stella and will henceforth and forever more . . . be dead to me!